Up Shit Creek

It would take someone 44 years — working nonstop, 24/7, 365 days a year — to be able to fake the sex tape at the heart of R. Kelly's child-pornography trial, a forensic video analyst testified Thursday (May 29). "It's simply not possible. It's not possible to fabricate these images without detection, and there is no doctoring in any part. We don't have the technology yet to fabricate the errors and the facial features and the motion and the light in this way, not like this." Even more damaging to the defense was when the analyst took images of the man on the tape and the room featured on the tape and matched them to Kelly and his former home. And that ain't all, last week defense attorney Sam Adam Jr. made a big deal about a mole on R kelly's back saying it was not visible on the man in the video. So when the analyst showed how a spot on the male's back was in fact visible in a half-second's worth of footage once the tape was slowed down, the proverbial shit hit the fan. "It's in the exact same position, at about the same size," the analyst said, pointing to a video display. He also pointed out how the wood-panel hot-tub room known as the "Colorado room" at Kelly's former house was also a match — down to the position of every light, fixture and knot or blemish in the wood. "This was the same location," he said. "The knots in the wood are like stars in the sky — you can map them all out."

An FBI forensic video expert also authenticated the tape Thursday.