Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Taraji P. Henson Ends Engagement


Two years ago actress Taraji P. Henson announced her engagement to retired football player Kelvin Hayden [click here if you missed that].

Taraji confirms the engagement is off...

This week Taraji told The Breakfast Club, 
"I just turned 50 and I mean, I hadn't said it yet, but it didn't work out. I tried. I was, like 'Therapy, let's do the therapy thing,' but if you're both not on the same page with that then you feel like, you're taking it on yourself. And that's not a fair position for anybody to play in a relationship."

54 comments:

Anonymous said...

This came out two days ago.
She is smart and not thirsty. TPH didn't try to force the relationship to work or turned a blind eye, to say "I can fix him". Some women would have married him any way, just cause he is fine.

Anonymous said...

Grown Woman shit right here. Taraji gon be alright...

Unknown said...

Even though I'm about 15-20 years younger than TPH I understand exactly where she's coming from. I just recently ended a relationship with a black guy who couldn't communicate, had childhood traumas and molestation issues, and a possibly undiagnosed ADHD disorder - he didn't want to commit to me or go to therapy. I wonder if the single households that black men come from are a factor in their inability to communicate with their sexual partners. And again, coming from a single mother, I wonder if their only parent was sensitive enough to their traumas, emotions, and feelings to help them work through their issues?

I don't know, sometimes I think we really need to research the impact that black boys have growing up in a household with only a primary female influence. A mother who's struggling won't be as empathetic to her son's emotional needs if she's too focused on finding / keeping a job and playing the role of both parents. I just honestly think that a lot of black men are damaged from growing up with only a woman as their primary influence.

Anonymous said...

^^You highlight KEY factors...Our emotional & mental psyche has to be reprogrammed from that dysfunctional endlaved mind set thats embedded in our culture. Our young boys growing up without fathets, male mentors & few role models has definitely affected black males. They were never raised to think & act like men. They're not taught to take the Lead & be responsible. I think single parent homes can raise strong black men if they're aware & take the initiative to teach & guide. No one corrects wrong doings or grammar anymore. No one challenges kids comorehension or problem solving skills. They just reward these kids for doing absolutely nothing. EVERYBODY don't deserve a fukin trophy. Thats something you gotta earn.

Anonymous said...

@ 9:33. Clearly you are not black why you keep stressing how you had to end a relationship with a BLACK guy.. you scored girl! You was happy asf to have him by yo side wasn’t you?!? It ain’t a walk in the park honey!! Go educate yourself. Why you walking around thinking you better because he chose you. You think Black Queen Mothers want to be single raising men? Open your eyes! Read! All the black men are in Prison facilities boo just in case you looking for another . Lol and smh at you. At the end of the day the systemic racism and years of victimization of the black family as a unit is what traumatized your boyfriend. At the end of the day his mother and all black mothers who out in the work do the best they can with the tools they have.

Unknown said...

@10:14

Ummn, where's the beef? I highlighted that he was black as to make a reference to the 80% single parent households that black males are raised in. As a black woman, I care about black men and future of our race, which is why I'm asking that we drove further into the impact of black boys having females as their primary parent and influence. As females, being raised in predominantly female environments, we don't struggle as much, emotionally, the way that our black males do. And based on what TPH has said about her own relationship with a black man, it made me revisit my own issues with black men and their inability to communicate or identify childhood traumas that make cohabitating and communication difficult for them.

And lastly, I actually wonder if you are a black person...based on comments about finding another black man in prison smdh...lissen, chick, any issues or mass incarceration of black bodies are partly the result of their household and their environment - both of which are controlled by their mama's - i.e trifling bitches like you...

Anonymous said...

Late news. Good Taraji figured out before the wedding he wasn't the one.

Unknown said...

You can’t even blame single parent household anymore these days because I know countless black men that had their Mother and Father in the home and they still grew up fucked up and too damn emotional. Their daddy’s either beat them too damn much or ignore the shit out of them. A lot of men get their fucked up mentalities from social media and rap music. A lot of black folks get their ways from outside of the home and not necessarily from Their parents.

Blacks Stay Losing said...

Glad she was able to move on but black women and biracial black women in the entertainment industry obviously don't know how to really level up. Is Ciara the only black female in entertainment that truly leveled up? You never hear about Russell cheating. All these other chicks are sharing niggas (rappers, athletes) trying to get a bag.

Anonymous said...

11:03 I agree, they're priorities are performing for social media, stunting for the streets and fawking hoes. I don't know who told them being an honorable loving human being was a bad thing.

Anonymous said...

I live in a non-black suburb and let me tell you... these white dudes have all kinds of issues. These Karens get knocked upside the head and emotionally abused. They mask it with money and I swear they all sleep with each other around here! Their kids have all sorts of disorders and dysfunction but end up with the money to be prepped for CEO life and being world leaders (ie: Trump!)
On Topic: This news is old. I bet dude's side of the story is interesting.

Anonymous said...

@11:18

You ain't never lied. These White men don't give a fuck about their women. But at least they would protect their daughters unlike a lot of these dusty ass Black men.

ms mac said...

More than one person can be right at the same time and a lot of you pointed out some real facts, even with opposing views. Black folks can debate this kind of topic on RWS all day long but we also need to be having these conversations with one another in real life, as well as with our kids, mates, partners, therapists, etc. There's rarely ever a one-size-fits all reason for why anything that happens in our community. We just need to focus on finding productive ways to continue the conversation and bringing light to these kinds of important issues.

Good for Taraji not settling just so she could say she has a man. I'm with her. Everybody ain't built for the bullshit. At least she seems to know when to say when. Some of us need to learn how to walk away when it's not a good fit and quit trying to force incompatible relationships.

Anonymous said...

@11:18 you aint said nuthing but the truth. I have friends who are really good friends with some non colored (wippo) and their shyt is worse than many think. We laugh our azzes off when we talk about how fvcked up they are hiding behind big houses and generational wealth. I also had a former co-worker come into my office everyday to talk to me about his fvkced up marriage situation. I learned right then...I would rather stay single than go thru the shyt you you are putting your wife through just so she can look good for the other miserable wives in their circle. And I am glad TPH walked away before finding herself divorced in 6mos. Good for her. As soon as my ex-husband said he didn't want to go to counseling I should have ran. But nope, my young dumb azz thought I could fix him. I divorced him in 10mos. He later called a year later letting me know he now understands he was the problem and he just wasn't ready. I thanked him for the call and acknowledgement of something I already knew. He grew up with both his parents in the home and still ended up not being fit for marriage or manhood IMO.

Anonymous said...

11:18am Yes it's funny how white women are also baby mamas who have 3 and 4 kids with multiple men, addicted to meth and opiates, are drunkards in and out of jail, extremely negligent and abusive to their children, the list goes on. But because white men provide resources and put special ladders and privileges in place for his women and children---they will never be the face of poverty and dysfunction like black people. We cant go to black men for resources, education, food, shelter and we certainly cant look to them for stability, commitment and marriage. Black men would rather peddle what few coins they have into white and other communities.
And to the person/people who mentioned single parent households---NO! A lot black men just have a demonic disdain for themselves and their women and do not see value in building with their women. Doesnt matter if she's rich, beautiful, rocks her real hair, has a king-fu vaginal grip, snatched waist with 10 star chef skills--hes more likely to gravitate toward the barefoot, fleabitten Beckkky who works the register at Circle K. That pathology has been in him since the Moors and probably predates that era as well. He's just wired wrong and plenty of them come from two parent homes.

Anonymous said...

No matter what sort of madness goes on in white households, Asian households, White-Hispanic households why are black people still the face of broken homes, dysfunction and poor resources? No what sort of madness goes on in white families and white people--we still look to them for family values, wealth, healthy stable homes, EMPLOYMENT, education......has their meth/ drug addictions, dysfunctional family dynamics etc kept them from positions of power and centuries of rulership? From their white privilege?
No more diagnosing and coddling black men. Until they do right by black women and black children they will continue to be failures.

Anonymous said...

I always think that cougars are selfish women. It's cool to screw a young tender, but to marry him and he has no kids is a bit much! Taraji is 50 and dude was 37 no kids, WTF! Even if he say he don't want any, people grow up and their minds change.

Anonymous said...

I came in here read a few comments and thought I was at stormfront, aol, and breitbart. I see there are nothing but a bunch of racist who comment on here everyday. They sit and masturbate to their racist comments.

NiyabinghiWerewolfObeahWoman said...

Hell I just kicked a nigga to the curb a few months ago too. Fine ass Ogun 6'3 300lbs dark chocolate just like I like them, we were going to be married in December, but his ass got too much unresolved issues, childhood trauma's he refused to deal with. At 53 I'm not in my 20's to entertain fuckery. We all have trauma, but you have to heal a majority of these brothas don't want to heal their trauma, they just keep expecting black women to be the clean up woman. I'm fucking tired, I don't have anything left to give these unhealed men and their trauma. If I can heal my trauma you can too nigga, stop acting like your melanin alone is all you have to bring to the table, and like you are the woman, nigga out here looking to be taken care of, had one send me his damn cash app last night begging for money, this nigga 49. I blocked his ass. I think I will give the Mexicans a try tired of these trifling ass niggas.

Anonymous said...

^^^ But, these are the niggas a lot of you women pick, try to change, commit to marry, then back out cause all of a sudden you realize you picked the wrong one. Ya'll keeping picking dudes and making wild commitments then wanna bash him when things don't work out. Take responsibility for picking these dudes and not doing enough research PRIOR TO COMMITTING!!!

Anonymous said...

2:37pm instead of blaming women about "picking" no good dudes how about telling them HOW and WHERE to find them? How many black men here in America are willing to LEAD traditional roles and relationships with black women? All we hear about is who we "pick" First of all, MEN do the picking. Why aren't they called out for their failures and lack of leadership as a collective? Yall act as if there is this ignored and overlooked population of black men whoe are take charge leaders, alpha males and head providers. Unfortunately in order to "choose better" it will not be black males.
Funny how you wouldn't dare tell the Beckies, Maria's and Ling Lings about choosing better when black males leave them as single moms because that would mean NOT choosing black men and you KNOW IT! You keep reserving that energy for black women and its tiresome and redundant. Taraji needs to burn the cape and get with a man that appreciates and isnt threatened by her success. And when she does--lets see if hes black......

Anonymous said...

CORRECTION: *instead of shaming women about picking the wrong black men, how about telling where and how to get the good ones?*
Stop shaming black women with this damned if you damned if you dont psychology.

Unknown said...

@ms mac

We can't have these comments in our comunties because niggas like @10:14am wanna be combative and disrespectful. I'm sorry, but, black women are not open to dialogue where responsibility, accountability, and blame are directed at them. On social media, anytime someone subjects blame and/or accountability, they deflect or become combative. How are we ever supposed to have an open conversation about our communities? We have to accept the fact that black women are the foundation of ever predominantly black neighborhood. They control and facilitate the quality of people that reside in these neighborhoods. So why is it that our men are struggling the most when it comes to emotional traumas, sexual assaults, crime, and violence? Regardless of rap music or negative external influences, that child always has to return home. At home a parental figure has the time, money, and resources to evaluate their child's emotional and mental state. They have enough control over their child's environment to determine how their time is being spent and what their external influences may be. The time of making excuses is over. We have a real problem with the emotional and mental traumas in our sons.

Anonymous said...

@3:17 when did it become the sole role of Black Women to fix every damn thing and every damn body? Yes black women are definitely the foundation BUT does that mean it's her job to make men be MEN? You are missing the entire point. Because the BLACK MAN isn't acting as the head and showing up as the HEAD even with black women in the house now it's all of a sudden Black women's fault because the black man isn't the HEAD??? I know men who group up with good homes and they still end up Hot messes...case in point Cam Newton. Now are you trying to tell me Cam is a fuck boy because of his Momma? Save that "blame black women for everything wrong with society" bullshit. Even if we control and facilitate damn we still cannot do everything by ourselves and we sure as hell should not take the blame for all the fucked up shit in our communities.

Unknown said...

@3:32

So, what, black boys come out the womb knowing how to lead in an environment that's primarily female, when he's never witnessed it first hand? Do you hear/read yourself? Women have control over their bodies and their surrounding environment. If you don't want ain't shit niggas festering your communities then stop raw dicking them! Millions are spent on planned parenthood outreaches directed at black women. There are too many damn safety nets protecting black women from unwanted pregnancies. Y'all act like retarded ass kids with this accountability shit. Wrap it up or practice abstinence. Ain't no way there's 50 forms of contraceptives, with a 99% effectiveness, and black women are still populating neighborhoods with over 80% illegitimacy rate. These niggas ain't forcing ya to spread your legs or carry the babies. Accept your role in the degradation of our generation.

Anonymous said...

I remember black men even jumped on this bullshit movement about black women having them removed from the home in the 1900's in favor of welfare, foodstamps and government cheese. What were they even paying back then for welfare? 10 bucks a month? If a women has you kicked out the house for that shit, you really are a deadbeat loser. Women cant remove you from a house if it was yours to begin with. White women are the face of feminism, THEY are the face of strong, and independent but it damn sure did not discourage the black male from succumbing to these Lot Lizards while degrading black women.
Taraji girl, we would NOT be mad at you at all if your next partner is not black. If Jeannie Mai gets celebrated for settling with her "dark meat on the side" then go on and enjoy your side dish whether its Asian, etc.

Anonymous said...

4:01pm So you agree that we should close our legs to black men? If we do that and stay away from you all, will you leave us alone? Will you and the rest of the collective of black men move on to other races of women PEACEFULLY without mentioning us, trying to use us, trying to keep our attention, slandering us, complaining about us. Furthermore, tell your white/asian/mutt/latin bitch to keep our name out their mouths. Tell them to stop comparing themselves to us. Stop trying emulate the black woman. If she knows shes the better woman for the job there would be no need to keep focusing on us. But I agree that we should keep our legs closed to black men and stay away from them. I've done it for 5 years and counting. #NoNiggaDiet#

Anonymous said...

^^^ then evolution will properly take over. fine by me!

Anonymous said...

@ 9:33 am You must not have heard about Maryanne Godboldo,the school told her if she wanted her child in public school she needed to get updated with her vaccines so Maryanne got her vaccinated and the child started acting out,stopped doing normal things then the state put her on Risperdal and the child got worse and Mary said no more...Im saying this to say tell him to get in touch with a holistic doctor or look up Meyenberg goat milk,cherries,vetiver,lavender,orange essential oil,herbal teas etc..to calm his nerve because those doctors will put him on some stuff that will have him acting like a monkey.

Anonymous said...

The peaceful black women who are in healthy relationships with healthy black men are not on this blog bitching about each other or on the defense about their sorry ass partner choices. They are not feeding the angry black folks stereotype. They are not blaming each other for their faults because they embrace each other and lift them through their opportunities. The good black men are at work right now making a living for themselves and staying far away from you angry chicken hens. They are eyeing the beautiful black independent women working along side them; not chasing behind them.

SnookumsLynn said...

4:27 puhleeze...like there aren't fuck boys waiting to get off their 9-5 to go do fuck boy shit...many black men with jobs still have issues...

the black man's failures is not the fault of the black women, she gets chose and she chooses to leave if she's healthy - which it seems Taraji did, nothing wrong with it, we can try with these men and then we got to keep it pushing

this fight has nothing to do with the black woman, it's up to black men to fix and they need to start checking each other

Cam Newton was a great example given, man with two parents that are STILL together, father that was very involved in his upbringing, yet he loves the skrippers, dresses like Madea and he loves to low ball them when he decides to leave, it's probably his black ass daddies fault and it's up to other men to fix that shit!

Anonymous said...

She had no business making this announcement and throwing him under the bus with her underhanded disrespectful comments about him. She didn't even have the decency to say his name; she talked in general which is very shady when clearly she was talking about him. He seems to have class and not responding her her public humiliation. Taraji gets a fail on this one.

ms mac said...

All I can glean from this conversation is that Black people still have A LOT of work to do and we are fractured as fuck! Nothing can be solved by pointing the finger at any one source and it's ignorant to blame all societal ills and shortfalls of any Black person -- be it a Black man or woman -- on a sole entity.

This shit we're fighting against goes back to slavery and cannot be unraveled by blaming each other. We also can't undo what's been done. Whitey played the long con game when they came up with all of their strategies to create a divide amongst us and right now it looks like they're still winning.

I don't have all the answers but I can tell you that Black folks as a collective play a role in the position we're in even though we also have a legitimate bone to pick with society and America at large. But it's ludicrous to believe we can fix a problem without recognizing we are the problem. So how about we start with this:

Black Men: Choose your mates and who you procreate with wisely. Start by using some damn common sense and discernment and quit thinking only about yourself. Don't bring kids into this world by starting them off on the wrong foot. You'll only reap what you sow.

Black Women: Choose your mates and who you procreate with wisely. Start by using some damn common sense and discernment and quit thinking only about yourself. Don't bring kids into this world by starting them off on the wrong foot. You'll only reap what you sow.

Black People:
-- Stop acting like the poison we're being fed daily doesn't affect us in the most insidious ways possible and doesn't have long-term consequence, i.e. consuming music and media that's intentionally degrading and demoralizing to us. No other race of people allows that shit.

-- Stop disrespecting and killing one another without provocation or justification. These crakkas love to see infighting because it inherently excites and engages their barbaric spirit and takes them back to the enjoyment of people tearing each other to pieces (e.g. gun duels, Vikings, sword fights, the Roman coliseums, hostile takeovers, starting wars, etc). And this is also why they employ an us against them strategy when it comes to handing out community resources, elevating only certain types of Blacks, separating families, etc. So every time we openly and actively show disdain for one another it feeds their ugly, dark souls.

-- Quit indulging in everything the white man puts in front of us. This is pure gold for them crakkas who sit back and study our trigger points and vulnerabilities so they can use it against us later. This is why they flooded our communities with drugs; so they could separate the wheat from the chaff and determine how best to target us.

-- Start focusing on building generational wealth for our families instead of fixating on getting the bag. And with that, learn the difference between depreciating garbage and an appreciating asset.

-- Understand that a formal education isn't worth half as much as knowledge of self.

-- Accept that we are not a monolith and learn how to respectfully embrace our differences while celebrating our similarities.

I could go on and on but it gets tiresome to constantly speak on things while feeling like we're getting nowhere.

Unknown said...

@ms mac

Well stated.

I still think black women need to own up to their part lol smh but baby steps...

Anonymous said...

^^^^^She ADDRESSED black women!!! Did you not read the post???

Anonymous said...

somebody please get ms mac off the sofa and govt. assistance and in to a job that keeps her too busy to write an entire essay on an entertainment blog.

Anonymous said...

@8:57pm
You are telling the truth and nothing but the truth. I've stopped reading her bullshit along time ago. It's beyond pathetic.

Anonymous said...

If hes back on the block, let me put my Poon Poon shorts on...I guess Niya is going to say hes gay too.

Anonymous said...

To 8:57 who is also 9:38:
Yet you bitches soaked up every word and then commented about not reading. ��

Anonymous said...

@9:38P so somebody coming up with ideas about how Black people can better themselves is beyond pathetic? Sounds to me like you're the one that's pathetic. I swear we our own worst enemy sometimes.

Unknown said...

10:29

They are trolls - not black Americans. This is what they do - anytime real discussions are taking place to advance black Americans, here come these trolls (who aren't black) to cause petty arguing about who's comments are too long, who's comments aren't grammatically correct, or they just get defensive about creating real progress. I like ms mac and I always look forward to her commentary on all things RWS. It's nice to see an intelligent, well-thought out opinion on pop culture and black Americans. We need more ppl like her to analyze, discuss, and create solutions for our progress. The folks you see trying to disrupt that either aren't black or they're niggas who just want to remain complacent.

Either way, don't breathe energy into their negativity or bullshit. Scroll past and join the discussion!

We need more discussions like this!

Anonymous said...

@ 5:59 Exactly! That's the same person cosigning itself. Fukin loser.

ms mac said...

@7:46PM, Yes I did address it but I think I understand what Unknown (7:31PM) was saying about Black women owning up. At the end of the day Black women are the original creators of life and I'd even argue we're probably the most powerful and resilient species on Earth considering all we've been through. But I believe the frustration comes in when we don't harness that power correctly or act accountable when we're in the wrong, which may be what Unknown was alluding to.

Good to see folks on this thread call out the jealous, hate mongering dirtbags who love to spread the seeds of discord I actually spoke about in my post. It's all good though. 'People hate those who make them feel their own inferiority'. Lord Chesterfield

Anonymous said...

Ms Mac how long are we as black women are we going to be the whipping girls? How does the average, innocent little black girl hold herself accountable for something she hasn't even DONE? What exactly has any black woman done to warrant such a public visceral hatred from black men? Will "changing, submitting, being feminine" change his behavior and how he sees us collectively? If every single one of us held ourselves accountable will black men cease their public humiliation and degradation of us through their art, music, media platforms as well as their sexual, psychological and spiritual warfare against us? Whatever WE as black women have done, INCLUDING our need to hold ourselves accountable, does it justify destroying the self esteem, dignity and mindset of black women and girls by declaring for THE WHOLE WORLD to see that they are WORTHLESS women? That other races of women are above them? Ms Mac to hold ourselves more accountable would mean allowing the sacrifice and annihilation of our image, bodies and souls. I am honestly confused as to who I'm more afraid the white man or the black man and truth be told more damage has been done to us as women from black men. Many of us BEEN holding ourselves accountable---at the expense of our lives and the lives of our children, especially our little black daughters and frankly I'm tired. Tired of the gaslighting, tired of the narcissism and tired of being punished and held accountable for what our great grandmothers may or may not have done 50 years ago. So again, I pose the question, if we as black women make a public and solid effort to blame ourselves and make a concerted effort to change....will that redirect the black males lust and idolatrous worship of white and light skin? Will that stop the abuse and degradation? Will he step up and be a leader and provider? Will he stop preying on and attacking our young black girls? What do you think?

Anonymous said...

Furthermore Ms Mac, we cant point at outside forces anymore when black men willing align themselves with white supremacy. Many of the things they do and say would make even the hardest hardcore white nationalist blush crimson red. After a certain age, we are responsible for the things we say and do as adults and black men ARE NO EXCEPTION--being raised without a father figure, being targeted by racism, being hurt by black women, his MOMMY issues, it does not justify his tyranny against his people, his lack of desire to protect and properly run and head a household and build a community and his blatant resentment against black women. As a black woman I'm tired of trying to prove myself to a man that refuses to value me. And more and more black women feel the way I do and we're burning the cape. We hold ourselves accountable and take responsibility at the cost of our minds and souls.

Unknown said...

@4:41 & 4:58

There is no scenario where black men are just going to automatically change and begin to value black women. It took generations - decades - for us to reach this impasse with black men. It started during the civil rights movement, and then feminism, coupled with Reagan policies, was the fatal nail in the coffin. So, I'm thinking about, 30-50 years of consistent psychological warfare and discriminatory legislation is what brought us to this point - divided and conquered.

So you have to understand that the solution may take just as long - if not longer - and it involves practices that we all have to be mindful and consistent with. And, in my opinion, that starts with the foundation - black women. We have to start taking advantage of contraceptives until we are literate, financially and emotionally stable. Refocus our energy on completing higher education and establishing careers. It's in college and corporate networking that you meet men who are aiming for the same goals and values. These are the men that you want to date, build with, and marry. But in order for black women to have more black men as dating options, black women have to look at the entities who producing black men - which are black women. No matter how you look at it, everything cycles back to black women. It is going to take at least 20 years for black women to find, date, marry, and have children with black men - and only then can we cycle a new generation of higher quality black men and women.

But everything starts with accountability - like ms mac stated - black women have to harness their power and control over our black children. Which means protecting the livelihood of your unborn children by not breeding in poverty. And if you're already a parent, keep your son's occupied with sports, science, and activities. An idle mind for a young boy is a dangerous thing to have. Their hormones are raging, they need activities to distract them fcking everything in sight. We have too many kids with too much time unsupervised time on their hands because mama or daddy are too busy working. Children need guidance and protection - protection from their own stupidity.

But, it's a cycle and multiple tactics have to be consistently to improve things. But it's gonna take a long time ..that's why we have to get behind our emotions and defenses when we talk about the elements that we can control (illegitimacy).

Anonymous said...

@ Unknown,
You made excellent points but I have to debate some of them:
While I agree, that black mothers are the vessels where life begins in the womb, she is the first teacher, nurturer, caretaker and yes she is the thread that holds the family together. Doesnt mean she cant become overwhelmed and unravel. She is a woman and yes shes just as fragile as any other woman. The black woman, as well as the children, would be so much more with the right PROTECTION and right RESOURCES. Once again, you brought up external forces as reasons for the breakdown of the black family (which I agree with) but throwing in FEMINISM still implies that the black woman is to blame for the destruction of the black family. I also see subtle coddling of the black male, siting Reaganomics, FEMINISM, civil rights movement(please elaborate on this) as reasons for his failures as a man, father and leader.
Please explain how feminism ruined the black family and why would black women turn to feminism in the place?

Anonymous said...

*in the first place*
In order for black women to make the right decisions and choices regarding her womb and her future she first needs to be protected. How do you vet, properly discern, and make proper choices while being swarmed in a pool full of blood thirsty sharks? Why does the everyone expect us be every fucking thing except vulnerable women?

Unknown said...

@6:36

Again - you're to emotional and defensive to step outside of your feelings and look at the bigger picture as a whole. Collectively black women have an illegitimacy rate of 80%. Do you realize how ridiculous this figure is? We're not just talking about a few isolated incidents of young girls making mistakes - we are talking about a cultural shift that is producing negative results.

Why spend so much energy trying to infantilize black women? To answer your question: education. Education is how you direct young black girls from poverty and crime. Through education young girls can travel and network with other like-minded black people. Instead of hours of unsupervised idle time around pedophiles and criminals.

As far feminism, there's an entire generation of knowledge on how feminism was weaponized against the nuclear family, which had a devastating impact on black families. If you were truly interested on the topic you'd already come battled with knowledge - instead of begging for it from me.

When you care enough about black ppl to actually research a point - if only for your own edification - you'd realize my perspective and chime in on a solution. Instead of just being a passive aggressive loud mouth.

Anonymous said...

Unknown,
Passive-aggressive loudmouth? Emotional and defensive? So you're gaslighting me which is a typical NARCISSISTIC tactic and you still did NOT answer my very specific question......why is everything from FEMINISM, civil rights movement and Reganomics cited as reasons for black males and their shortcomings as men, fathers, husbands and leaders? Why out of ALL men are black men the only men who can be prevented from being men? I'll ask another question, why are black women blamed for black men not being men? We as black women take blame for out of wedlock children, weave, government assistance and not protecting ourselves against predators in our communities. Now I will ask again. What are BLACK MEN going to do about being the face of FAILURE, lack of leadership, poor providers, absentee fathers, predators? What are black MEN going to do about about getting another man's FOOT off his neck and out of his ass? Or is that the black woman's job, too?

Anonymous said...

You also mentioned education as ways to prevent young girls from poverty and crime----and you dont think a form of FEMINISM would be a part a part of that. Asserting her independence and FEMINIST ideals and strategy (which most men HATE) while at the same time blaming it as a "weaponization" against the black family structure. I'm actually awaiting your response to this, hopefully without insulting me when you cant give an intelligent response that actually makes sense

Anonymous said...

So in summary, Ladies, all of our "advice" from these online psychologists about what WE are doing wrong as black women is really just another "damned if you do, damned if you don't" bullshit narrative. We put our trust in our own race of men, love them and take a "submissive" traditional approach with them, then we're blamed for not having the foresight to see what irresponsible dirtbags they really are. And if we DARE to have have STANDARDS....and challenge them to be men and providers---oh NO!
So @ Unknown as more and more of our young black girls are burning the cape, starting with the millennials on down, finishing college, traveling and starting their businesses, were seeing more and more black males attacking them online out of jealousy and rage. Let's what other bullshit narrative, you suggest next.

ms mac said...

Wow, that was a lot to take in but I appreciate the discourse. I'll try to answer your question as best as I can @4:41/4:58PM.

I don't think ANY Black women should be anyone's whipping post and it's not our job to take a beating from anyone, Black, white or other. But to your question, I wouldn’t expect an innocent young girl to hold herself accountable but I would expect an experienced Black woman to do so. Big difference. Black girls will often model their behaviors and emulate the Black women around them and who they see in the media. This is why it’s so critical to counter the exposure to these whack ass celebs with positive role models.

Using myself as an example, I dealt with a lot of fuckbois in my younger days and took a lot of shit off them. That was because I falsely believed loving a Black man entailed and required struggle. At some point though I realized these men would only do to me what I allowed them to do. Now I know I’m the prize so if a Black man doesn’t seem my worth he can keep it moving. I don't deal with any man who’s disrespectful towards me or any Black women.

And as you said, there are a lot of vile, angry and disgusting men out here who will victimize us for sport. I’m not speaking about them because some of the things I/we Black women experience are completely unavoidable. But when we have a choice to not engage these types of men as we mature, or make babies with them, we have to choose wisely. And if we don’t, we have to take full accountability for those poor decisions because truth be told, a lot of those vile men you speak of are raised by Black women.

I totally get where you’re coming from as it relates to having to bear the burden of the Black man’s actions at every turn. It’s not fair and it’s not okay. But would a simple solution be to not support their bad behavior or make excuses for them when they F-up? Would it not be okay to quickly end a relationship at the first sign of trouble instead of continuing to be “hopeful” that things will work out? We are the most coveted species on the planet so there will be no shortage of options for Black women, despite the lies the media has tried to sell us on that narrative.

Black men act like they don’t want us because they don’t see us a commodity. Men love the chase and it’s in their nature to fight for and pursue what eludes them. But too often we’ll put up with their BS, have their 50-11 kids, raise dem babies all alone, work 3 jobs while putting ourselves through school and after all that we’ll take them back should they come a running and have a hot meal waiting. Of course I’m using an extreme example but my point is that you teach people how to treat you. We’re not responsible for how every Black man acts but we are responsible for how we react to them.

So yes, as you said, we are responsible for the things we say and do as adults, but as Black women we have to be accountable for our actions when we constantly allow the wrong kind of Black men to infiltrate our lives. A seed can’t grow without soil, sun and water. Continue to pay those types of low vibrating negroes dust and see how quickly they die off … or move on to Becky where they belong.

As for blaming ourselves for the position we find ourselves in, there’s no need to do that publicly or otherwise. We can move in silence and handle our business quietly. We don’t have to announce anything to world or break out any car windows. All we have to do is make a collective effort to put a stop to any BS we allow ourselves to be subjected to.

A Black man who’s not a leader, loving, respectful, ambitious, thoughtful, caring, supportive and/or kind can’t be willed into being one. So it’s best to leave that Negroid alone and find one who is. A quote I heard recently (paraphrasing): Don’t expect people to change. Change your expectations of people.

Anonymous said...

If the reason is cheating, guys deserve a FAKEABABY fake pregnancy prank or fake dna test prank. Teach them a lesson!

Post a Comment